I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
