So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
