i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Is it penis luge time yet?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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