I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize