If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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