if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
