Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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