When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
