I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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