At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Who died my cat blue again?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
