the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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