Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
