found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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