Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
vagina is talking i cant
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
