Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
