In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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