I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize