I accidentally burped into my bong.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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