you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
