new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
