That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
