he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
