I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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