It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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