I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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