yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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