I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
