yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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