It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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