Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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