He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
