When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
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Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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