she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
