i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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