You're my little dorito
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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