so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
