I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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