Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
