Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
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I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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