so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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