M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
