I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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