my mouth tastes like poor choices
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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