Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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