Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
