so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
