We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
are you so shy because you have an std?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
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I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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