You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
