Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
babies were throwing up all over the place
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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