He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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