i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
