My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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