I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
