Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
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He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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