I hate your face
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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