So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
