Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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