I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
