I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize