Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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