To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
smell my finger.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
