I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
