I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sorry about my life...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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