this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
