can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
