Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
