Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
