and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
