So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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